How to Avoid Giving Up!

4 Antidotes to letting yourself and others down!Ashamed1

Have you ever noticed that some people keep on succeeding,
while others have great ideas but nothing happens with them in the end?
Do you know people who SAY they will do something and then put it off repeatedly?

Do YOU do this?
But do you know what that seemingly small decision reveals about you?
Firstly, it tells others that you are not trustworthy and cannot be counted on.
It also indicates that you are unlikely to succeed
at the activities that you SAY you want
, because you tend not to focus
on what is important; only on the urgent things.

This may be harsh, but if it describes one of your habits – at least now you know the consequences, both in relationships and in achieving your goals.
It can be an easy decision to put off doing something – everyone is busy –
and just do the things that are SHOUTING at you.

Four Antidotes that Work!

1. Say-Do Principle: If you want to have long term credibility with others, apply the Say-Do Principle.
Only say you will do something if you ARE going to do it, WHEN you said you would. Hold your breath and count to 10 before spouting any ill thought sentences that others will take as a commitment on your part.
Make this a rule that you follow. If you have to miss a deadline, communicate a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you much respect and trust from everyone you care about.

2. Detail/Big Picture: One of the most important gifts you can give yourself if you want to be successful, is to identify where to place your attention. Often people get lost in the detail when trying to make a decision and lose sight of the larger stakes.

Recently someone I know was stuck about deciding whether to take a job that would mean a move to a region where she wanted to live, because her husband had not yet found a job in this region.  She was bogged down in the logistical details, forgetting that they had decided as a couple that the big goal was to live in the new region.

When she and her husband zoomed out to the big picture, and their overall goal, her next steps were obvious. Take the job! Interestingly when she kept her commitment to their goal, her husband was offered a job almost immediately after she said yes.

3. Options/Procedures: When people are focused on options, alternatives and possibilities, they have big struggles completing commitments. We call this the Options Pattern from the Language and Behavior Profile (LAB Profile). These folks tend to be very creative but often do not follow through on what they say they are going to do.

If someone has a preference for a step by process when they do things, what we call a Procedures Pattern, they are more likely to follow through with their commitments. In fact, when you hear Procedure language, such as “the next step, then, after that, process, how to get to the end goal”, etc., it may actually indicate that the person IS committed to doing what they said they would do.

To improve your ability to follow through and actually do what you committed to doing, get yourself into a more Procedures mode. An easy way to do this is to schedule WHEN you will do the steps needed to fulfill your commitment right in your calendar. And be a slave to your calendar. Ok, not really a slave as such — but use your calendar to guide your actual work activities, and not only your appointments with others.

4. Delegate: If you still suck at doing what you said you were going to do; hire someone and give them the task. I do this in my work by hiring freelancers on to do many of the tasks I don’t have time for.
(Obviously, if your commitment was about making time for looooove with your partner, delegating this task may lead to some undesired consequences. J

The Power of Commitment

When you only SAY the things you will actually DO, suddenly you have a super power! Others trust you and treat you with respect. You get the things you want from life because you have made the commitment to do what is needed, when you said you would.

 A simple commitment: Say-Do, and create whatever you want!

Please let me know what you think? How do you make sure you fulfill your commitments?

4 thoughts on “How to Avoid Giving Up!

  1. Barry

    This is one of your best work, Shelle. Thank you for being a part of a 61 year old man’s life who says he wants to improve his life and wants to perform what is necessary to do that.

  2. Esty

    I also use a strategy of knowing who I am, and what my personal goals are. I don’t create goals to impress others. Goals that are focused on others are often based not on a person’s reality likes and dislikes, but rather on what that person imagines will impress others. Naturally, there is little “real” person under such a commitment so it has a greater chance of petering out. When you plan around what you know about yourself, including your limitations (!), you are more likely to go at favors, goals and projects with consistence and so you have a lesser chance of letting yourself and others, down.

  3. Alison Bramall

    Thanks Shelle. Mea culpa!
    It’s very interesting that given the amount that I use the LAB Profile, the extra perspective and understanding I get from reading your blogs.


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