Many people have difficulty with influencing and persuasion because unconsciously, we tend to use the same strategies on other people that we would like to have other people use on us, and it’s all out of our awareness. Let’s bring a couple of things into your awareness by looking at the Language and Behavior Profile™, which is a tool that I’ve built my best-selling book on; “Words That Change Minds”, and my new book, “The Customer is Bothering Me”. Here are some of the key things you need to do to
increase your ability to influence and persuade, if you want to increase your sales, solve problems with your family, have better relationships, and be more convincing with your teen.
First of all, let’s look at rapport and credibility; two key ingredients in influencing and persuasion. We know that rapport and credibility are based on people believing that there’s some common points. So the first thing that we look at in the LAB Profile are what are those common points that are really going to make a difference? For instance, if you don’t know what’s important to the other person, chances are you’re speaking about what’s important to you. So the very first thing you need to look at is what are the criteria to which the other person thinks they are important.
So you can ask a simple question like “What’s important to you about this?” as you’re talking to someone and then make sure that you remember exactly what they said. Watch the gestures that people make when they talk about what’s important. That’s a very important point. I’m really repeating the word important so you might know that that word is important to me. Listen to what people repeat. Play back to them the answer to the question “what do you want” or “what is important to you?”
The second thing we want to look at the LAB Profile triggers: are they motivated to get what they want or are they more motivated to avoid problems and move away from issues and things they don’t want to have to deal with? For example, if you’ve got teenagers, they don’t want to do house work. They want to do everything to avoid it, but if you’re talking about the benefits or what you’ll do for them after they’ve done the house work that may be a mismatch, and that’s not what’s important to them. They want to find strategies to reduce how much time they have to spend doing it or avoid it all together.
Many people who go to coaching are not goal-oriented, and this is very upsetting for coaches because one of the things we coaches do is we want to find out what are somebody’s goals, but if they’re motivated to get rid of problems, we need to match that both in our language and our behavior. That’s why we talk about that in the LAB Profile, which is short for Language and Behavior Profile.
There’s going to be much more information on this because I’m hosting a brand new teleclass called Influencing and Persuasion on April 12 at 1:00 PM, Eastern time (EST), 6:00 PM Central European time, 5:00 PM U.K. and Ireland.
You’ll get all your questions answered and we’ll go over quite a few of the LAB Profile patterns, and you’ll get a chance to solve some of your persuasion problems. Hope to see you there, www.shellesevents.com.
If you would like to have me speak at an event, please email me here: [email protected]