A lot of people tell me that getting others to do what you want them to do can be very difficult at times.
So here’s three tips on how to get someone to do what you want.
1) Find Out What’s Important to Them
Most of us know what’s important to us but we don’t take the time to find out what’s important to the other person. Ask a few questions first about what is important to them, or think about it from their perspective.
2) Link What You Want to What’s Important to Them
Usually, we just talk about what we want and we don’t link it to anything that the other person might like. What is the link? How can you make a case?
3) Speak in a Way that is Motivating for Them
For example, if that person is very goal-focused or goal-oriented then you need to tell them what the benefit is (Toward Language).
If they tend to be more problem-focused and the kind of person who notices what is wrong and easily criticizes, tell them what problem will be prevented or solved; what they can move away from.
You can guess if they are in a Toward mode and need a benefit or a goal, or if they are more Away From and prefer to hear about consequences or negative consequences that they can avoid by doing the thing that you want.
Learn more about influencing and persuasion »
Two more hints about speaking in a way that motivates the other person.
Do they want to have lots of choices and lots of options? We call that Options Language. Or would they rather have a step-by-step procedure for doing something and talk about how to do something? We call that Procedures Language.
Think about these 3 easy steps the next time you need to get someone to do what you want.
If you want more tips to solve problems (Away From Alert!) and get what you want (Toward Alert!), visit http://www.ShellesTopTips.com and check out my books and audio programs for yourself at the store.
