Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with temptation is to yield to it”, but I believe there’s another option. So here you are, it’s holiday time, the table is laden with all of your favorite foods, some of which you may have even cooked yourself, (talking about myself here again).

You really want to dive in and all you can see is that lovely delicious stuff and you can practically taste it on your tongue before you’ve eaten it. How are you not going to just yield to it as Oscar Wilde said?

When you’re in the store, or you are behind at work and you know you need to be saving money but you really want those things right in front of you. What do you do if you’re on line doing the same thing?

Click here to watch the videoclip

Here are a couple of tips.

First, breathe deeply. Breathe deeply a couple of times because you end up giving in to temptation when you act on it really quickly. If you stand back and give yourself a couple of moments to think, that can be the secret to your success.

Second, after you’ve breathed, go away from the temptation. I go into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. (that maybe too much information). But I remember while I’m sitting on the toilet what my real goal is here. Am I working towards becoming a better person? Am I trying to lose weight? Am I getting into shape? What do I really want? Get back in touch with what is really important.

If you haven’t ever talked to yourself about what’s really important, you might want to do that before you confront the holiday temptations.

The third suggestion for resisting temptation is to go have a glass of water and think about something else. The moment will pass and that’s really, really key.

Temptation only ever happens in the moment. So if you have a couple of tips for how to forget what’s going on in front of you and think about something else, timing off to reconnect with what’s important to you, that’s going to help you with all kinds of temptations whether it’s buying, eating, or anything else you can think of.

I hope these tips. Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips and enjoy the holidays.
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at [email protected]. Please visit my speaking page too.

To learn more about Joe Scherrer and The Leadership Crucible visit
http://www.theleadershipcrucible.com

If you find this information useful, please share it on your Facebook page or the page of anyone you who may be interested. 

Cheers!
Shelle

To learn more top tips on how to solve everyday communication problems visit http://www.shellestoptip.com

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Get your LAB Profile® Practitioner certification from the comfort of your home.
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A lot of people tell me that getting others to do what you want them to do can be very difficult at times.

So here’s three tips on how to get someone to do what you want.

1)     Find Out What’s Important to Them
Most of us know what’s important to us but we don’t take the time to find out what’s important to the other person. Ask a few questions first about what is important to them, or think about it from their perspective.

2)     Link What You Want to What’s Important to Them
Usually, we just talk about what we want and we don’t link it to anything that the other person might like. What is the link? How can you make a case?

3)     Speak in a Way that is Motivating for Them
For example, if that person is very goal-focused or goal-oriented then you need to tell them what the benefit is (Toward Language).

If they tend to be more problem-focused and the kind of person who notices what is wrong and easily criticizes, tell them what problem will be prevented or solved; what they can move away from.

You can guess if they are in a Toward mode and need a benefit or a goal, or if they are more Away From and prefer to  hear about consequences or negative consequences that they can avoid by doing the thing that you want.

Click here to learn more about influencing and persuasion.

Two more hints about speaking in a way that motivates the other person.
Do they want to have lots of choices and lots of options?  We call that Options Language. Or would they rather have a step-by-step procedure for doing something and talk about how to do something?  We call that Procedures Language.

Think about these 3 easy steps the next time you need to get someone to do what you want.

If you want more tips to solve problems (Away From Alert!) and get what you want (Toward Alert!), visit http://www.ShellesTopTips.com and check out my books and audio programs for yourself at http://www.theshellestore.com

NLP fans: If you are near London, UK, November 15 to 17, please come and see me at
the NLP Conference. I will be doing 2 experimental demonstrations with Penny Tompkins and James Lawley, the creators of Clean Language, and we don’t know what will happen.  Click here to find out more.In addition Michael Neill is doing a full-day pre-conference workshop and there are so many great sessions by excellent presenters. Hope to see you at the NLP Conference!

Speaker, Trainers, Facilitators & Coaches: The Global Speaking Summit is in Vancouver December  8 to 10, 2013. If you want to take your business global, this is the place to be. Click here for all the information. I’ll be there with bells on! Please come!

And I would like to recommend 2 new books:

The Exceptional Speaker by Alan Stevens and Paul du Toit.

My 2 friends from the Global Speakers Federation cover how to create engaging content, stagecraft, how to work without notes, overcoming nerves and when and how to use props and slides. Check it out here.

Klout Matters by my buddies Terry Brock and Gina Carr. Find out how to measure and enhance your influence in today’s marketplace: the digital world. Excellent reading and very practical. Click here to get a couple of free chapters.

Let me know if you would like me to continue to recommend events and other resources now and then. [email protected]

I’m feeling bookish, since Canadian short-story author Alice Munro just won the Nobel Prize for literature! She’s a wonderful story teller.

Cheers!

Shelle

p.s.Get your LAB Profile® Practitioner certification from the comfort of your home.
http://www.labprofileonline.com  

LAB Profile® Consultant/Trainer Certification program.Totally NEW Early Reg Package!  Outstanding Savings! Only until Oct 31, 2013
http://www.labprofilecertification.com

Need help with a communication problem at home or at work.
http://www.communicationchallenges.com

It’s really important to know how to calm down your customer quickly, get to the root of their problem, solve it, and nourish the relationship for next time.

If you’ve had a chance to look at my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, you’ll get this all laid out for you, but there’s four key steps.

1)     Treat the Emotion First
Most people cannot do these two things at the same time; they can’t be upset and be logical. If you’ve got a customer that’s upset and you try immediately to solve their problem, they probably won’t co-operate because they’re busy being upset and they need you to understand that. So treat the emotion first.

The key is to meet your customer where he or she is. My strategy may seem a little silly because most people are taught to stay calm. But if you think about it, when you are upset about something and the person you are speaking to stays calm, and doesn’t acknowledge either verbally or in their tone of voice that you are upset, it can feel like they are not really hearing you.

Instead, I suggest that when your customer becomes upset about something and they raise their tone that you raise your tone to almost the same level, but you say something helpful and we call that getting upset on behalf of your customer.

This is not the same as yelling at your customer. Step number one is to get upset on behalf of your customer, show them that you are surprised and upset with them. If you don’t sound like you’re surprised when they are upset, your customer may believe that this problem is normal, you don’t care, this happens all the time and your whole company doesn’t care about what happens. Remember, everything you do determines what your customer believes about your whole company. So for step one, treat the emotion first.

Click here to find out more about how to match your customer’s tone, and what kinds of things you can say that will be helpful.

2)    Clarify What the Customer Actually Wants and Take Action

Whether or not you agree that it’s a problem, if the customer thinks it is a problem, we need to sort out what it is they need.  You can suggest two options here that will solve their problem. In my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, there is more information on exactly the wording to use with upset customers.

It is important to make a suggestion at this point, as if you ask the customer “How would you like me to fix this?”, they may become angry again since they will be expecting you to be the expert and to know what to do to fix the issue. So step two, clarify what the customer wants and take action.

3)    Make Amends

Many people don’t think about this, but if your customer is upset, to him or her it is as if they have been hurt. So our third step is to make it up to them. It is not enough simply to say, “Well I’m sorry”. Remember when you were a child and your parents told you to say you’re sorry, your siblings knew you weren’t really sorry. Your upset customers know you are not really sorry either. So what can you do to make amends? Does your company have a policy so that the person actually dealing with the upset customers can make amends right on the stop without having to ask for permission?  So step three, make amends.

4)     Nourish the Relationship for the Future
Make sure that you communicate to your customer so that whenever they contact your company again for any reason, that you have set them up for a positive experience. You can do that by saying, “Listen, any one of my colleagues will help you find what you want and if there are ever any issues, we’ll do whatever it takes do to solve it.  We are your personal fix-it people”.  Make sure they can see a picture in their mind’s eye of how it will be next time, (such as “fix-it people”) That’s how to nourish the relationship for next time.

If you want more information on strategies for dealing with customers and creating a great customer experience, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, available as an EBook or available in paperback form.

Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you got any great ideas from Shelle’s Top Tips.

Shelle

Click here for more of my blog posts
http://www.theshelleblog.com

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In Canada over the last few weeks, we have heard the tragic story of a teenager who committed suicide, after being sexually assaulted and then bullied online for over a year. This isn’t the only story about people suffering at the hands of others while bystanders do nothing, or worse encourage the bullying.

Bystanders are being blamed for not intervening and yet, hardly anywhere in all the literature does it tell bystanders exactly what to do. How many times has each one of us witnessed someone behaving inappropriately and not intervened?

And I just can’t stand it any more! I created this video because I believe there is one thing you can do to stop bullying right when it happens.

If you find the information useful, please share it on your Facebook page or wherever you think people need to see it.

Cheers,

Shelle

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